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Writer's pictureEmeka Mike Onyeagwa

A coin’s other side in this redefined personal relationships era…

Imagine me — tall, slender, chocolate dark brown on most of my physical features — hair, eyes, skin.


Imagine that I live in New York, where I had lived with my family for about five years.


Imagine along the line I had made friends who were all professional scientists, like my wife.


Imagine they are all from Spain or Spanish speaking territories. We(my wife and I) have our roots from western African.


Imagine that on weekends, especially on Sunday’s we always gather in a park and most times, play soccer an then hang out as a group.


Imagine that during this time, my wife and I are undergoing serious career changes and decisions, looking for new opportunities.


Then, imagine now meeting a lady also from Spain, and a scientist, while hanging out in the park with the friends, who are also mutual friends with her.


Imagine these friends happen to be a lot closer to her than to you.


Imagine that these friends are also now friends of your wife and kids.


Imagine that this lady you meet keeps going on and on, bringing up fascinating topics to hold conversations with you during this time.


Imagine, she tends proceeds to add you on all social media platforms she is on, including LinkedIn.


Now also imagine that she lives in the Bay Area on the other side of the country.


Imagine but continues conversing with you for months after this, like she wants to help you and your family.


Imagine you headed to the city she lives in for your regular bi-yearly visit to see your ailing family member.


Now imagine that this has come up in the months of conversation with this lady since you meet.


Imagine how outwardly elated she becomes.


Imagine she so desperately wants to see you that she want to come to pick you up from the airport. But you say no, you have a rental and you will see her at the close of the workday. As you do have a lot of things also scheduled while there.


Imagine she has tried her hardest to convince you that it will be a hangout with her and her colleagues after working hours and that it might be useful to meet some of them and their friends. All you had to do is pick her up after work, and she was going to leave her bike at home since she lives in a heavily biked area of the metropolis.


Imagine after all that, you pick her up, then get to the supposed meet up spot, which turns out to be very lovely and proceed to wait almost two hours with her — then not even one of the many supposed many colleagues or friends show up.


Imagine you sense at this time what the plan had been all along. The project had been you.

Imagine while you a bit surprised, flatted, and not a saint; you have no intention of being on this intelligent lady’s menu.


Imagine that you now look the part of your decision (to leave) and are ready to leave her off at home on your way, which you indicate her.


Imagine now, she said in a threatening way, a Spanish European scientist would, that the friends I hang out with at the park are her close friends.


Imagine she asked if I liked being close to them.


Imagine that I smiled, and they answered “that they are good people,” and then got up to leave and call it a night. I did not understand that it was a threat in its way.


Imagine we left, proceed to get in my rental and I drove to her apartment building (which was not far away), to drop her off.


Now imagine we get to the apartment drop-off way, and then it becomes bizarre in the vehicle between us. The look dejection, resolve and want all in one showing on her high cheekbones, pale face buried under her medium length brown hair and slight bulging light brown eyes, as I quickly make to hug her and politely call it an evening.


Imagine I now get on my way to get to my destination — the home of my relatives.


Imagine the next day, while attending a softball game for the baby of the house, I receive a text then a call from one of the friends I hang out with at the park every weekend. A friend who’s’ wife was her roommate in college.


Imagine in decent English laced with a broad native Spanish accent, then sternly advised to “be the right person and not do bad things.” now, I am currently in shock.


Imagine me trying to ask questions and find out what is going on and then not getting clear answers back; it became clear it was more like some supplying me with inside information to describe it.


Imagine when I get back home, everything changes with the friends I hang out on the weekend at a park.


Imagine for the next six months, they all hang out with me, it’s weird, and no one wants to address it. Not a person asks me a direct question about what they were thinking. They have all heard a story. No matter how much we hang out on the weekend and play, no matter if we hang out for a drink, irrespective of how many messages we exchange via text, social media, or WhatsApp.


Imagine this attitude goes on for the next year.


Imagine if my wife and kids also feel the tension, coupled with the long drive they never liked, now don’t ever come on the weekends.


Imagine this was four years ago, and one thing she does is every year she takes me off one social media site she had me one. She starting with Facebook.


Imagine this year she took off LinkedIn (which I had forgotten she had added on there). If not for the lockdown, I would not have even realized.


Imagined even though she seems to have moved back to Europe a year and a half ago, she had time to take me off LinkedIn.


Imagine after seeing all this, I decided to write a story, and I had not told anyone outside my immediate family.


IMAGINE!


Imagine this has been a reoccurring nightmare for you in the last four years.


Those people i thought were friends are now mostly distant — a acquaintances at best.


A few real friends use to play with on those weekend’s still remain.


Imagine that I still have no idea what was said.


Imagine this image is real. Then again maybe it is.


Imagine!


Just imagine!

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